arcana characters as weird things i have heard children say
Asra- “Magic is real. So are donkeys.” (VIA a 5 year old)
Julian- “I think common sense is stupid and I don’t want it anymore.” (VIA a 9 year old)
Nadia- “When I grow up, I want to be a dictator. But, like, a super nice one.” (VIA an 8 year old)
Portia- “Of course I didn’t punch you on purpose. If I did, it would’ve been harder.” (VIA a 10 year old)
Muriel- “This is my sadness corner. Please leave.” (VIA a 6 year old)
Lucio- “I would like to marry my reflection.” (VIA a 8 year old)
Valerius- “I think the best part of being an adult will be being able to drink lots [of] alcohol.” (VIA a child who looked around 8 but I don’t know for sure)
Vulgora- “I lost my temper and it never came back.” (VIA an 11 year old)
Valdemar- “Doctors aren’t allowed to kill people, but I’m going to.” (VIA a 10 year old)
Vlastomil- “I wish I was a mealworm.” (VIA a 6 year old)
Volta- “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole baby.” (VIA a 9 year old)
Asra: carries Faust in a fanny pack, only listens to Phil Collins, runs a folksy astrology blog that he makes ad revenue off of, notorious for jumping in the fountain at all the malls he visits, talks like a twitter stan
Nadia: president of student government in college, founder of the poetry club, drops her skincare routine and it’s just “drink water”, has a phase where she only listens to 80’s movie soundtracks, compliments every girl she sees
Julian: eats creamed corn out of the can, calls himself a plague doctor because he sprayed Lucio with Lysol when he had measles in the fourth grade, still amputated Lucio’s arm but no one knows why or how, wears fingerless gloves probably
Muriel: goes on a hike one day and doesn’t come back, they find him living in the woods 10 years later and charge him with tax evasion but he disappears again 3 days before the trial, does a peel off charcoal mask weekly to keep it fresh
Portia: super into tailgating before football games, always has a cup of yogurt in her bag, reads the newspaper every morning, cuts out her favorite newspaper comics and tapes them to her fridge, sends Nadia and Julian wholesome memes
Lucio: dumbass, popular on tik tok, his mom didn’t vaccinate him so he caught measles and he got everyone in his fourth grade class sick and no one forgot, asks to hit your juul but won’t let you hit his
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