joybones:

The thing I love most about the Venom movie is that there are only two ways they can start a sequel: either domestic bliss or dysfunctional roommates.

Human hand can’t reach the alarm? Venom got it, smash that alarm to bits. Too sleepy to find slippers? Cheeky little tentacle got you covered boo. Don’t forget to brush your symbiote’s teeth after you’re done brushing your own, and toss little bits of raw meat over your shoulder while cooking for your goo boyfriend to catch in their mouth.

VS

This is the third time this month Eddie has woken up on some random rooftop in his boxers because Venom got bored and took his body for a joyride. Parasite trying to steal your bacon? Swat that bitch away like a naughty pet. Get your own hand slapped away every time you try to reach for a beer. Eddie said no to McDonald’s so Venom just straight up ate a cat.

No matter which they choose, it’s gonna be gay.

imidori-ya:

Boku no Driver’s Ed

The class 1-A kiddos learn how to drive with Aizawa Shouta pt.9

Kirishima, Kaminari, and Ashido: no, no, no, no it’ll be great don’t worry

Tokoyami: *suspicious but also not opposed*

Tokoyami: I will do this, however, next time you must join me to revel… in the dark…

Kirishima, Kaminari, and Ashido: *all nodding aggressively*

Several minutes later….

Aizawa: you are doing well… get ready for this next tu—

Tokoyami: Jesus take the wheel!

Dark shadow: *emerges and takes the wheel*

Kirishima, Kaminari, and Ashido: *dying*

Aizawa:….. why?

Tokoyami: they told me to do it for the vine

Aizawa:….

Aizawa:…. that’s so old wtf…

(Master-post)